Child Custody Battle: Proving Claims and False Allegations

Family Court is based on the “he said/she said” argument and it is up to the judge to determine what events are actually factual or what combination of events really occurred. Basically, judges sift through what is said and usually based on how good the actor is that is on the stand, they make their decision.

I have personally seen a case where a father has physically injured his son, which hospital treatment was required, have the child handed back to him because he cried on the stand and portrayed himself to be a victim. Child Protective Services concluded that the case was unfounded and protection from further physical injury was denied to the child because of the father’s wonderful acting skills and the ability to manipulate the people around him. There is only one way to put a stop to this and that is to correctly document.

Attorneys tell their clients, “Document, document, document” but what they don’t tell clients is how to effectively document their case. How do they create this documentation to support the claims that they are making and make it easier for attorneys to demonstrate what is going on?

Let’s face it, there isn’t a judge out there that is going to sit down and read 100 pages of documentation. It all becomes just words but when you take those words and document them properly, behavioral patterns emerge. You are able to prove what happened prior to an incident, cycles of behavior that are indicative of abuse and clusters of behavioral patterns.

Knowing how to document properly will remove the “he said/she said” from the court process. Your ex will no longer be able to say, “He never lets the kids call me” or “She refuses to release them to me on my days”. A lot of the false claims that your ex will try to make can be removed if you are thorough and know what you are doing. Just as any claims that you are trying to make to prove your ex’s behavior will become apparent.

The first step to this process is education. By gaining an understanding of personality disorders, how to prove clusters of behavioral patterns, knowing how to keep an accurate journal and spreadsheets, you are taking the first steps to building a strong custody case for you, your child and your attorney.

Accurate documentation will take the he said/she said out of your divorce and bring peace and happiness to your family.